Dear Summer

March 2022

I’ve decided to document letters to you here, out in the open. In part, for continuity and safekeeping. And, so you can actually read my writing.

Today, I lost my temper again. I snapped at you out of anger. I was in the middle of a quarrel with your dad, but even the anger that was directed at him, now that I’m calm, I can see that it was probably misdirected.

You heard our escalating voices and you rushed upstairs like you always do, to my side, curling your tiny arm around mine. But I was too angry to thank you at the moment. Instead, I asked you to clean your room (to help soothe my emotions), and you did. I asked you to practice your Cantonese, and you did. You quietly stood there, as if you knew, that this will pass. Because it wasn’t your first time witnessing how it all unfolds, was it?

Between the two of us, I’m almost ashamed to say, you’re the more mature and forgiving one. When I apologize about my behaviour, you’ll tell me, “It’s okay, mommy.” Always. You don’t need more than a second to consider your forgiveness.