A practice
A while ago I spoke to a group of students about starting and running a small business. They were in university, studying the program I graduated from more than a decade ago. To my surprise, a student raised her hand and asked: How do you do it all?
I was shocked by the question because she was young, maybe late teens or early twenties. When I was her age, time felt infinite. I reminisced at the thought for a second, and then panicked for an answer because I don’t do it all. I was about to maneuver myself out of answering and that’s when I blurted: If I don’t finish something, knowing that I can set it aside for now and pick it back up later - that’s enough for me.
My answer surprised me because it came straight from the heart. But also - is it enough?
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We probably know by now that we’re not supposed to do it all. We know that motherhood is messy, young kids are messy, and the line between work and family is a blurry one - and that’s okay. I’ve been convinced by my Instagram feed and pop culture that mom life is normal. They tell me that I should embrace my messy home, my messy life, and my messy hair. I know, they all mean well. But if I were being honest - I don’t want a messy life. And that didn’t come from the outside, it came from me.
Is there a space for where my heart’s at, that my reality is just in a different place than where I’d like to be? What if I’m in that limbo of a space that’s undefined and doesn’t fit in a square? Can we name that reality here? More importantly, can we also name our desire to live a life that isn’t reality, yet? Maybe a life that has a creative rhythm instead of the same tune that’s been put on loop? If we don’t name it, the denial may surface as shame, anger, and a sense that our lives are slipping away. Can you relate?
Maybe it’s true, the current state of our lives is messy. But it could also be true, that we’re willing to make small changes. And it’s practicing those small changes that will fill our hearts.
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Next week, I’ll share a rhythm that I’ve been practicing. May you come as you are and find encouragement here.